The role of snowballs in business

KillGobbledy was supposed to focus on efficiencies today (23/05). Operational efficiencies, organisational efficiencies, efficient efficiencies, in short, many different ways to let people know they're going to be sacked. 

Unfortunately KillGobbledy was sidetracked by the rare sighting of a business snowball. 

'Our snowball is just going to keep on growing' stated Gabby Leibovich, co-founder of CatchOfTheDay.   

Scary white balls

This slightly sinister statement had KillGobbledy worried. Is this a business dedicated to building a giant snowball? If so, where do they keep it and what hellish purpose does Leibovich have in mind? How is it growing? Organically? Or do an army of snowmen willingly sacrifice limbs to the cause? Who else has one? Is this some strange ice-based arms race? What the hell are we going to do when Leibovich decides to leverage this obscene snowball?

Orwell?

It all seemed too much this single-snowball-focused-business. There had to be another purpose to Leibovich's strange statement, so KillGobbledy hit on another theory. Revolution.

Was this the moment a neo-communist movement emerged from under the heel of rampant capitalism? In the guise of an online grocery store, Leibovich had issued a coded call to arms with an oblique reference to the Trotskyite pig Snowball from Orwell's Animal Farm. This Snowball, however, will not be hounded into the wilderness, or turned into bacon. It will keep on growing until it becomes a gigantic communist pig grinding the machinery of capitalism to dust, with its immense trotters.

Tyrolean disaster?

Then again, maybe it was just a bad metaphor. All Leibovich wanted to say was 'we think our business has momentum'. Unfortunately he thought we were all a bit too stupid to understand a big word like 'momentum' so he felt compelled to 'paint a picture' for us simpletons. A snowball that rolls and rolls getting bigger and faster until it's bounding down an alpine pass, an irresistible white force.  

Unfortunately with this metaphor, KillGobbledy can only see the picturesque alpine village in the path of the massive online-grocery-store-snowball, and the subsequent Tyrolean devastation. Or perhaps that village is supposed to be Coles or Woolworths, in which case who is the mountain and what happens when it's summer and all the snow melts? Are we left picking over the wet sludgy rubble of a place we quite liked, trying to find a new home for the cows?

So please Mr. Leibovich, stop growing your scary white balls.

KG