My Own Tomorrow

Groan tomorrow
So, AMP wants me to ‘own tomorrow’ and they want me to own it today. They’ve made it that bit harder by trademarking ‘own tomorrow’ meaning AMP legally own own tomorrow. I don’t think I can own tomorrow if AMP already do.

I bet they were surprised when the intellectual property lawyers came back with ‘no, there have been no requests to trademark ‘own tomorrow’, it’s all yours, you utter buffoons'.

Maybe there’s just some words missing, like ‘we want to own your tomorrow, today’, or ‘give us your super now and whoever came up with this ad will probably be dead by the time you need to use it, and have to deal with someone forty years younger who doesn’t give a monkey’s about what you thought you bought yesterday’.

Bone tomorrow
The other difficulty with owning tomorrow is that it never comes. So if I do manage to own tomorrow today, by tomorrow, all I own is today, and the next day, I own yesterday, meaning I’ve been sold something that’s actually something else (not unusual for financial services).

Their website asks the question ‘what do you want for your tomorrow?’ It’s a link, click on it and it takes you to a form asking you to say what you want for tomorrow. Genius. Free market research and the chance to ‘leverage’  that new-fangled craze called social media.

Done tomorrow
Sure, KillGobbledy gets what they’re trying to do. The research came back saying people feel they don’t have ownership of their money, especially super (compulsory retirement savings).  It’s because they don’t. Here in Australia, it’s taken from your pay and given to a bank until you’re old and even then you can’t get your hands on it that easily. By then, owning tomorrow means having your funeral planned and a will in place.

But what the hell, here at AMP, we’ll try to get ‘cut-through’ with this clever campaign that takes the concept of ownership and the future. We’ll call it ‘own tomorrow’ and everyone will go blind with apathy.

Scone tomorrow
Somebody at AMP is paid a lot of money to push this tripe on the public.  What I want from my tomorrow is for them to stop. All of them, the financial institutions that want me to ‘engage’ with my money, or to have a ‘relationship’ with my super. It's like being constantly pestered by a sleazy man with bad breath and bag of licorice.

They are banks, they want to make money, lots of it. They want to make obscene amounts of money, nothing wrong with that, just don’t pretend you give a stuff about what I want from the future.

KG